I Went to a Sexual Wellness Retreat

Sitting in a cozy converted Palm Springs garage, I watched transfixed as a 60-something woman is getting digitally penetrated on a massage table. As the thumping beat of moody instrumentals filled the air, I couldn’t help but think: Observing a happy ending in a room of full of 20 other women definitely wasn’t on my 2025 bingo card.

No, I am not on a porn set. I am witnessing a demo of sexological bodywork at Back to the Body, a sexual wellness retreat founded by Pamela Madsen. The methodology, created in 2003 by Dr. Joseph Kramer, a somatic sex educator, uses “sexuality foundational elements like sound, voice, breath, touch, and movement to help clients connect with their erotic energy and learn through direct bodily experience,” says Madsen.

Practitioners are always fully clothed. As for the client? You can strip down to your birthday suit or keep it covered. Touch is solely one-way—from the practitioner to the client, focusing on the participant’s experience. Practitioners ask before moving to the next touch and clear, enthusiastic consent is required before proceeding. This is different from sexual surrogacy work, where penetration and mutual sexual interaction may occur. Sexological bodywork is not about creating intimacy. “We’re here to create a safe, sacred space for people to explore their own arousal, boundaries, and pleasure in a non-judgmental, educational container,” says Madsen. “For many, it’s the first time they’re able to experience the eroticism of their own body without performance, pressure, or expectation—and that is life-changing.”

Madsen runs the Back to the Body retreats along with her staff of somatic practitioners.

Courtesy of Rachel Khona

As Madsen and fellow practitioner Court Vox began their teasing, sensuous foreplay, the group of women watched in admiration as Vox—while asking for Madsen’s consent at every step—sensually removed her clothes, then massaged and rubbed her nude body, taking his time to cater to her every need and whim—and showing us what safe, intentional touch looks like. This wasn’t some fleeting moment—this was a full hour of devoted, meaningful attention. On one hand, watching something so intimate felt invasive. On the other, it was mesmerizing. We’re so used to seeing sex in movies, all perfect lighting and cinematic angles, but here was real, unfiltered pleasure happening in front of us.

Madsen and Vox demonstrate intentional touch.

Courtesy of Rachel Khona

Courtesy of Rachel Khona

This is not the first time I’ve found myself in a… unique situation in the name of “sexual science.” I’ve imbibed mushroom powder to boost my libido. Gotten freaky on sex swings. Interviewed men who Botox their balls. Investigated the link between porn addiction and erectile dysfunction. Sprayed THC on my nether regions. And experimented with more vibrators than Samantha Jones could ever dream of.

So when I had the chance to attend Back to the Body, my first thought was ‘F**k yeah!’ Most wellness retreats are all about kale smoothies, downward dog, and finding your inner zen. And while I knew regular orgasms could improve your sleep and strengthen your immune system, I had no idea what a sexual wellness retreat entailed. Eating healthy food, exercising, and practicing mindfulness are all touted as an essential part of wellness, but embracing your sexuality isn’t always discussed as part of that equation. Are we missing out by ignoring our sexual nature? I headed to California to find out.

Madsen runs the Back to the Body retreats with her staff of somatic practitioners from both her base in Joshua Tree and around the world. A former Kindergarten teacher, Madsen founded the American Fertility Association in 1999. “My own experience with infertility opened my eyes to the lack of support, education, and compassionate care for people trying to build families,” Madsen explains. “I didn’t want anyone else to feel that alone or that ashamed. So, I founded the American Fertility Association to be the organization I wish had existed when I needed it most.”