Watching Hair Consultation TikToks Is the Only Thing Soothing My Election Anxiety

Omaha-based hairstylist JPalm starts every video by asking their client if they’d like to share their pronouns. But my favorite part is when they ask, “Is it OK if I touch you?” How many times have you wished someone asked you that in real life?

The harsh reality is that humans aren’t always the best listeners, whether intentionally or not. People don’t always listen when you correct their misgendering of you. They don’t always listen when you tell them not to touch you. Hell, some hairstylists don’t even listen when you tell them you only want a trim. But in their consultation videos, these hairstylists create an environment where people are always listened to, and unconditionally so. It doesn’t matter what their identity is or what type of hair they have or what their aesthetic is like.

Whether a stylist does something as major as help someone affirm their gender for the first time or something as simple as giving a client “the usual,” an in-depth consultation gives power and autonomy to the client. By documenting them on TikTok, stylists give viewers that same warm and cozy feeling of trust and an example of how people should be treated at the salon and, more importantly, beyond. My favorite hairstylists on TikTok are doing this intentionally.

As Slocks tells Allure, “[Consultations are] an opportunity for clients to focus on themselves without any rush and for viewers to consider how they might approach their own haircut if given the freedom to express their needs openly.” Schlabach says wants people to feel “found, heard, and understood,” whether they’re sitting in his chair or watching from their phone.

At JPalm’s salon, they emphasize freedom of identity, expression, and safety—they make their consultation videos as a means of extending that environment to anyone who needs it. “We want viewers to feel the same sense of belonging and empowerment online as they do in our salon, encouraging them to express their individuality confidently.”

Right now, we can’t be sure if everyone in this country will have legally enshrined bodily autonomy weeks, months, or even years from now—and it causes a very special kind of existential exhaustion to have to shout from the rooftops that you deserve to be treated like a human and never feel heard. Those safe spaces that stylists are creating in their salons and allowing us to see from home are certainly not accurate reflections of our nation’s politics at this current moment in history. They probably won’t be for a very long time regardless of Tuesday’s result. But imagining myself in place of these clients, having their voices heard and their individuality rejoiced in the safety of their stylist’s chair will keep me holding on in the meantime.